If M school for 2 people is $3000, then yes, I gotta say, that's asking for too much. Bottom line is, stuff happens. Cars break. If they'd known further in advance, I think they would have let you know. It was just bad timing. IMHO, you can't expect BMW to take a beating over it. $3K + airfare = a whole lot.
I think they handled it well. That wheel is cool - I'd trade places with you for that.
As for the spoiler, I think that's an unrelated issue. If the spoiler is off, they should fix it, just like any other car repair. It has nothing to do with the timing of your trip, and the inconvenience you suffered. Again IMHO, there's no swag owed to you for that. I don't expect swag for the minor repair to my vert trim that needs to be done - I just expect them to do it under warranty.
Bottom line - I think they're being fair. Of course, if I were actually in your shoes, who knows what I'd really think.
