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Some thoughts:
1. Have you tried to sell your car on CraigsList? I've sold several cars that way. They weren't high-dollar, late model cars, but everyone of them was sold within 3 days, at a price that was a lot better than the trade-in offer. Looks like your VW might be a good candidate.
2. Dealers often have "demonstrator" models to sell, and present them as a great deal. When you dig a bit deeper, however, the dealers typically want to sell the car simply at invoice. Oftentimes they have a lot of dealer options that carry a significant markup, and they discount those heavily without discounting the car.
3. Pay attention to the "document fee", "marketing fees", and other fees that are non-negotiable. For example, the Atlanta area dealers all charge about $600 in marketing fees, and won't budge. To me it seems like (illegal) trade collusion, but every one I've talked to does it. For that reason, I bought cars from neighboring states where they don't charge those fees.
4. Any dealer should be able to search the BMW inventory system and see what dealers have what cars, where they are, and what's on order. I just bought one, and every dealer offered to do the same thing.
5. The BMW website has a search option for pre-owned cars, across the country. I've found (and bought) a couple using that feature - it works well.
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