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"Lifetime" fluids are just that...they last the lifetime of the component they are in. When the component no longer is operational, the fluid is at the end of it's lifetime. I've never known a lubricant to last 100K miles.
I find it interesting that when BMW went to the "4yr/50K mile services are on us" model, the service intervals changed drastically. Personally, I change my fluids often. When I picked up my 135i, the diff fluid got changed fairly soon after that. Wanted to change the AT fluid as well, but it was cost prohibitive.
With the number of BMWs we've had in the family and the more conservative service intervals we go with, we've never had a major component bite the dust. I plan to keep it that way.
So, bottom line is, change the fluid at the interval that you feel comfortable with. Some swear by BMW's recommendations, and others are more conservative. I plan on keeping my car for quite some time, and I put my faith in it that it will not leave me or someone else stranded on the side of the road. Hence, my decision for a more conservative schedule.
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