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for family use (with children) and comforts, i would go for 5 series in your case. for performance, i feel 5 series may not provide noticeable better handling than 1 series. based on what you want to mod, i feel a true m car would be better for you.
in addition, just my thought here (!!!), be careful of the trade-in price with the dealer. you may get better reselling value if you seek buyers around directly.
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