You can certainly use
some, but not all detailing products on fresh paint.
There are many products that are labeled as "body shop safe" which means they do not contain any ingredients that will interfere with the painting process. Products which contain silicones, waxes, etc. should be avoided.
If your body shop did the job properly, they should have sanded and polished the panel after painting, so telling you that you cannot use a polish on it is misleading. What they should have told you is to be sure you are using body shop safe products on it.
You're correct to avoid waxing, sealing, or coating the paint for 30-90 days (if they told you 90, then wait 90).
CLICK HERE to view a great thread on the Meguiar's Detailing forum where they have listed all of their products (at the time) and whether or not they are body shop safe. You will notice there are many quick detailers that are not listed as body shop safe.
-Zach