I like this part:
"What the 1-series M coupe does remarkably well is indulge in various octaves of power oversteer. In the wet, the DSC's M Dynamic mode easily induces a tail-happy attitude. With DSC off, you almost wish for side window wipers so you could look more clearly into the shocked eyes of oncoming motorists."
This is for sure one area where an Audi (RS) can't beat the 1M.