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I have the exact same problem. Drove it until the flakes fell last fall trying to find pull through parking spots, put it away for the winter and tried to forget about the issue until recently. I too took it to AAMCO where they said they could fix it, this after taking it to the dealer and them quoting me a mere $4500 which they later said was incorrect and should've been $4800, and AAMCO took it apart and gave me the same...no parts available, nothing, no where, BMW does not offer the parts, only new/reman complete units. This was about 2 weeks ago and since then I've spent countless hours looking for or trying to repair the N55 GS6-45BZ transmission, ebay, junkyards, talking to ZF directly, calling BMW directly, talking to BMW race shops, BMW transmission experts, bottom line is there are no parts available so they cannot be repaired. The problem is there very few manual transmissions offered anymore combined with very few of us "lucky ones" with this reverse gear issue combined with not enough trannies available in junkyards yet, not good odds. Even if you find one it's likely to have high miles, cost around $2,000, and then what, put a transmission with even more miles in the car?
I spoke to several very knowledgeable BMW technicians and it's either the reverse gear synchro that breaks in these which expands slightly and then doesn't allow the shifter to fall in, or the reverse pin gets stuck. I only wish I knew about this before AAMCO took it apart since I could've at least driven the car 1-6 gears while I scoured the country for a low mileage and hoped for a little luck. Once I got it back from them you can't put it back in the car since there are no seals and of course no parts to put it back together. Get to know car-part.com very well, search 335i and 535i forums or get out the plastic and pay. I just ordered mine today from getbmwparts.com. It comes with a 2 year warranty and with any luck will be here by Friday...
Hopefully you are still covered under BMW warranty, if you search there are a few others on here with this issue but most were covered by BMW. Obviously I am not and for the most part BMW NA didn't care. They offered 15% discount off of the original $5000 quote, no thanks. This happened with only 59,000 miles.
I did also buy a dimple drain plug, not cheap, not sure it will do anything, but it can't hurt.
Good luck.
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