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Love my 128 as a DD. My commute is similar to yours with mostly highway miles. Over 18 months of ownership my 128 has proven to be very reliable, as has every BMW I have owned. Big thing with these cars is keeping up with the maintenance. You can't be aloof with that on a German car like you can with a Japanese car, it will come back to bite you in the ass. Stick to a Mike Miller type schedule and the N52 should treat you well.
Can't speak to the kid situation but sounds like it should work just as well as an accord coupe.
I would say you really need to get a 6 speed to get the full enjoyment out of the car, also sport seats as others have said.
Power is fine stock. I would tell you that if you like how the suspension performs stock, leave it alone. It's a rabbit hole of you start modding and isn't cheap to do right. I thought I could get away with just getting rid of the run flats but that quickly brought out the softness of the dampers and bushings. All in it cost about 2k to get the suspension sorted, and it was well worth it, but if you like how it rides stock, don't mess with it.
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