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Update: Did finally get this resolved with the help of my favorite indy shop (screw the stealership). They found water in the area on the passenger side of the trunk, under the floor mat, right behind the wheel well. The trunk was dry, there was no evidence of water intrusion from anywhere, including the tail light. So, that's a bit of a mystery...
BUT, what happened was: about 8 inches of water in that area, covering the Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS) Module. It died, as you might expect, and caused the entire serial network (CAN) to go down. So, everything started going nuts.
We drained the water, drilled a small drain hole, and replaced the module. $750 (about 50/50 parts/ labor), and everything's back to normal. Honestly, I expected $1000's, so I'm pleased. I also really like this shop, so I'm happy to pay them for their time. So, props to Motorsport Connections in Winston-Salem, NC.
Anyone that has a similar problem, go hunting for water intrusion in your trunk area. Apparently, it's tough to find and get to, but there are several electrical components in that general area that can fail due to water damage.
Happy hunting!
-Matt
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