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So after looking at every single "BMW Homelink mirror" on eBay, all of them had the mount with the nubs. And realOEM suggested that nubs for homelink is the norm. So, I just went for it. It turns out that it just twists on -- the nubs don't sit against glass, they touch the metal collar of the triangle piece attached to the windshield. When I installed it, it had more rubbery a feel when twisting than the stock mirror, which is what made me initially think it wouldn't fit properly.
Fitz - my car is a stripper and hence the need for a retrofit harness. Based on what I saw on RealOEM.com, all the 1Ms come with the same mirror and mount. I'll write up the saga to supplement what Nola1M wrote up in a previous post. I found some pdfs etc that will make the process even more understandable for people with stripper cars.
In the end, much ado about nothing!
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