Another update: I've scheduled an appointment to have my coding problems fixed. I was told there is a small potential that I would need to purchase software to get the headunit and steering wheel to function exactly the way a stock car would.
Hope that's not the case and that instead they can just adjust what I want adjusted. My ignorance with coding leads me to suspect German to English might be a software issue, as well as the overlap with the audio source button and M sport button.
I think I know why the usb/aux jack didn't match the stock wiring. My new usb jack is completely lacking the little flap that covers the usb port when not in use. I bet 1M's with USB have that flap because I'm pretty sure my 2011 128i had that flap.This would be more evidence that the dealer gave me the wrong usb/aux jack.