BMW 1 Series Coupe Forum / 1 Series Convertible Forum (1M / tii / 135i / 128i / Coupe / Cabrio / Hatchback) (BMW E82 E88 128i 130i 135i)
 





 

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      08-25-2008, 12:31 PM   #1
reedo302
Estorilblau Member
 
Drives: Estoril 328i M Sport
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minneapolis, MN

Posts: 207
iTrader: (0)

Minnesota State Fair - Mullet Hunting At Its Finest!

Every year I go to the State Fair, and every year at the State Fair I go mullet hunting. The numbers were down this year for the mullets, which is a good thing. Of course, I didn't get into the cattle, poultry, or swine barns. I DID get into the horse barns, but it was mainly kids in there. Most of the mullets were located on a game trail between the John Deere and Kuboda Tractors displays on Machinery Hill. Machinery Hill has excellent foraging for the wayward Mullet, with several beer stands and the K102 radio booth.



Here's a Classic Mullet. He wasn't going for a theme, he just wanted people to know that he listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd and Billy Ray Cyrus.





This one is known as the Mississippi Mudflap Mullet, or Farmer Mullet. It says "I'm too busy to cut that part of my hair." It's a cousin to the Mississippi Rat-Tail Mullet, but as you can see, the hairline is full protected by wispy locks of coolness. These mullets are often seen plowing fields, drinking Miller Hi-Life on county roads, or in this case driving a Ford F350 through a sea of people to promote mullet awareness.





Here we see a staple of the mullet community: the Camaro Mullet. Also known as the Trans-Am Mullet and the Firebird Mullet, this piece of head landscaping is a common sight at stock car races and demolition derbies. You'll typically see this creature attempting to rock out to Whitesnake and Winger. Note the tie-dye: he still thinks it's cool. The Camaro Mullet is the only non-hippie or non-Deadhead that can get away with the tie-die and not be arrested. At least until he hits his wife. Are jean shorts cool? He doesn't care.





One of the proudest mullets in existence, the Kentucky Waterfall Mullet reigns supreme. This hair tells the world "Pert Plus? Nope. Paul Mitchell, baby." It's really a rare sighting to see this hair in public at this time of the year. This time of year is really big and busy for the pro horseshoe circuit, and the Kentucky Waterfall isn't one to miss a good game of horseshoes. Again, note the abuse of jean shorts.





The Hybrid Mullet. This bastardized mullet is a combination of the Camaro Mullet and the Kentucky Waterfall. It doesn't know what it wants, just that it wants a Miller Lite and that beer isn't served until noon on Sundays. Only 45 more minutes... The Hybrid Mullet instills confidence in the wearer, making them believe that what they have isn't a real mullet. It's just long hair with wispy bangs. He's a Harley enthusiast, and he'll kick your ass if you're a dude and you drive a Sportster. To him, it's a chick bike. As soon as he can afford to buy a Harley, he'll show you what a real man rides.






The Michael Bolton Mullet. A.K.A. the Michael Bolton. The receding hairline and the party in the rear tell us that this specimen is perfectly at home "Dancing in the Street" and telling his domestic partner that what he would do "If I Had Your Love".





Always a staple at the State Fair, the Femullet is a sure-bet. High-wasted jeans that pronounce that FUPA (or "gunt") are mandatory. This is the feminine version of the Femullet (not to be confused with the Womynist Femullet that you so often see at KD Lang concerts and driving shortbox Ford F150's). The Femullet will tell you that despite it being 2008, it's still cool to remind everyone that you were rocking in 1988. A good way to spot one of these is to look for a woman driving a pickup with 9 children inside.


reedo302 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-25-2008, 02:33 PM   #2
dclee1
Lieutenant
 
dclee1's Avatar
 
Drives:
Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 469
iTrader: (0)

__________________
135 Monaco Blue - ED April 19th 2008
6spd, Sprt, Prem, Cold, Ipod, Comfort, HD Radio
dclee1 is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-25-2008, 03:01 PM   #3
dimeesq
Private
 
Drives: 135 Vert
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: NOVA

Posts: 56
iTrader: (0)

My eyes! My eyes! It hurts so bad!

At least the jean short offenders didn't have the home-made-cut-off-a-little-too-short thing going.

Camero mullet is classic!
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

2008 BMW 135 Vert
Montego Blue
Coral Red
HGB Trim
Cold Weather
Premium
Sport
Comfort Access
IPOD and USB
Satellite Radio
dimeesq is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-25-2008, 03:49 PM   #4
Purgatory
Private First Class
 
Drives: 2011 X5 xDrive 5.0
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Calgary

Posts: 178
iTrader: (0)

God! I just threw up in my mouth from the "femmullet" with the obligatory "gunt" blast... Wow!

Now for the obligatory, god bless america crack... U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!
Purgatory is offline   Canada
0
Reply With Quote
      08-25-2008, 04:50 PM   #5
JB135i
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 135i
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: SW burbs

Posts: 478
iTrader: (0)

This kind of post makes me sad I bought a BMW...

I would rather have a mullet than be a condescending asshole.
JB135i is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-25-2008, 05:51 PM   #6
reedo302
Estorilblau Member
 
Drives: Estoril 328i M Sport
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Minneapolis, MN

Posts: 207
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JB135i View Post
This kind of post makes me sad I bought a BMW...

I would rather have a mullet than be a condescending asshole.
...and cue the professionally offended...

Don't Care.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Purgatory View Post
God! I just threw up in my mouth from the "femmullet" with the obligatory "gunt" blast... Wow!

Now for the obligatory, god bless america crack... U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!
Aren't you from Canada? Need I remind you of all the hockey players in Canada? Come on...hockey mullets... :wink: :biggrin:

(We got 'em in Minnesota too. They come out in the winter.)
reedo302 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-26-2008, 07:40 AM   #7
JB135i
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 135i
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: SW burbs

Posts: 478
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by reedo302 View Post
...and cue the professionally offended...

Don't Care.




Aren't you from Canada? Need I remind you of all the hockey players in Canada? Come on...hockey mullets... :wink: :biggrin:

(We got 'em in Minnesota too. They come out in the winter.)

Yeh not even close. I probably do more offending in a week than you do in a year.

But my targets are in front of me, and they know it when I insult them, so they can defend themselves.

I don't rip on some nameless man or woman that I insult by coming to my oh-so-cool-BMW forum to insult anonymously.

BMW drivers wonder why they get cut off, tailgated and have their cars vandalized in parking lots....hmmmmm....maybe it's the attitude you gain after buying a $40,000 car.

And by the way, I am jealous of mullets, I can't grow that much hair anymore!
JB135i is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:50 PM.




1addicts
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST