finally...a review that calls it like it is!

[Paneristi]

Hilarious and true

Originally Posted by shah269

How would I review the 135?
Oh easy?

The 135, the hot latina of all the sports cars out there. Sure you can get a well behaved well spoken model from Japan which will respect you and be dependable and though she may have erotic thoughts of laying in a hot tub filled with live squid she will most likely keep it to herself an use her well appointed well thought out GPS guidance system to get you from point A to point B in comfort and serenity at almost any speed with just a hint of excitement.

Driving the 135 is not any of that. She’s a very curvaceous tight skinned green eyed raven haired woman who prefers to wash dishes while wearing 8in red spiked heels. You have no idea where you found her or if she stalked and found you but you have some very mixed emotions regarding her taking up residence in your life.
On one hand she makes you smile, did we mention that she’s a very curvaceous tight skinned green eyed raven haired hoty who has a thing for wearing one piece tight fitting knitted little numbers matched with high heels which could pass of harpoons and is prone to brining you breakfast in bed and whispering “Papi” in year years just the right way when you are out just walking around which makes you feel…well like The Papi…ah yeah?

And on the other she will make you question your sanity. Like that one time where she stabbed you in the thigh with a spoon while at dinner because you smiled and told the blond waitress that the food was excellent….of which you did not know that the term excellent should only be utilized when talking about her cooking and her looks and not some puta who just came over….and did we mention she has a flair for reckless abandonment, love of expensive sub components made of tin and unicorn blood and mild mood swings whenever the weather isn’t just right?

That’s right the BMW 135, it will kill you when you are diving in a straight line minding your own business but will lull you into a false sense of security as you fly around corners at about the speed of light all the while bathing you in that gorgeous exhaust note making smile from ear to freaking ear and causing you some sort of amnesia which will help you forget that you just spent $1k on a new water pump, $1k on tires and oh yes…that the voice recognition software only speaks Dutch and loves getting you lost in the deepest darkest part of the most dangerous hood that you never knew existed.

The BMW 1, because you will always remember that ONE! The one that left you with some internal bleeding, a good number of scars, way too much debt but lots and lots of fond memories!

[shah269]

Questions?