Ever have one of those bad few days and...

[shah269]

*Caution this post contains over the top love of an inanimate object

So just came off a 1 year relationship with a woman who really…sadly…I did not really care for.
I’m in a job that really doesn’t impress me or pushes me to my mental limit
I screwed up by being a dumb #uck in my divorce and got stuck with a under water condo I hate in a neighborhood I hate due to being the youngest (I’m 37) single guy with no kids. Oh and the “hottest” bar in town is called…shit you not….The Barn….you can imagine the type of women that frequent that watering hole!

So needless to say if I’m not skydiving, indoor rock climbing, at yoga or in the gym…..i can quickly fall into myself and get really depressed….

And it’s easy to get there and hard to pull out at times.

But in the morning, when I sit my ass in that seat and press the start button on the little 135….and hear that burble of an exhaust I can’t help but smile.
And when things are dull as dirt in the office or I’m inches away from suplexing another passive aggressive engineer I go out and look at my car…and that line from the top of the front fender arch shoots across her body and I smile…..

I like this car, I don’t want to fall in love with her because I’m afraid she will let me down…but I want to love this car. She makes me smile. She keeps me warm in the winter, dry in the rain and whispers to me when I’m driving to and from another bad date in the spring or summers.

Are there things I don’t like? YES! Those fake leather seats feel like crap after a long drive. I got how many MPG just putsing to and from work!? Why is this suspension tight all the freaking time!? And what dumb ass designed this GPS system? And at 66k miles I’m petrified about those turbos going south on me and the CPO guys saying “tough tits asshole that will be $5k!”

But…..I still like her…..and….as the global economy goes south entrapping me in this condo and this job and the local NNJ dating pool starts looking more and more like the audition line of The Biggest Looser…..I can look at the one right thing I did 3 years ago…..I got myself a crazy out of her mind slightly psycho BMW 135…and though she tries to kill me and I’m not sure I trust her reliability or her intent….I may just fall in love with her…..one day.

[vertebra]

Great story! So you got out of the shitty relationship that you hated. You don't have to deal with the exwife anymore(being underwater in a condo is a small price, especially since a lot of people are still upside down). You have no snotty, smelly kids(you know every man in your neighborhood is jealous of you). You have the Jersey shore, NYC and Atlantic City as your playground! On top of that you are falling in love with your 135i all over again!

[ShocknAwe]

Yeah same here, sounds like you're actually doing ok man. Enjoy the car.

And worried about the turbos going and then not having them replaced free under CPO/warranty? UPGRADE!

Life is short, enjoy it while you have it.

[shah269]

Yeah I fucked up bad...oh did i ever fuck up! Wooh people who fuck up look at me and say "boy that boy, he fucked up!"
Rule 1) Never pay for a woman’s education! NEVER! I don't care if you have been married 1 year or 100 years!

Rule 2) Bitches be crazy....well the correct term is Bitches be baby crazy. The girl says she is thinking of wanting a kid....she will have a kid. Regardless of any logic you use she will have a kid. Be it yours or someone else’s. Even if that someone else is an under educated illegal from South Korea who has over stayed their student visa and was working under the table at his brothers grocery store and the best he could do was smile and donate sperm.

Rule 3) NEVER BUY A HOME! It is the worst investment you can make if you don’t have kids. In fact investing in a rusty nail to shove into your knee would be a better investment than buying a home. Girl wants you to buy a home so she can be happy….married or not tell her to GTFOH! Because when things go south and they usually do when you least expected you will be stuck with an underperforming asset in a neighborhood not set up for your recovery.
Case in point I’m 35 miles from NYC….where all the very well educated, career minded non breeder women life. My first 33 miles I can do in about 30minutes! Those last two miles crossing the river can take me an hour. So don’t buy a house rent a nice apartment. If thing go south MOVE YOUR SORRY ASS closer to the action. Oh and this POS underwater investment costs me just north of 60% of my income! So don’t fuck up be smart…rent! The tax credit is not worth it!

Rule 4) When buying a BMW understand that if you drive a stick, you can just about name your price! And if the dealer give you a dirty look…..look back and say “It’s a 2 door rear wheel drive 6 speed….it’s like sex to the average 20yo who can’t afford it and porn to the average 50yo who can’t drive it due to his bad knee….I’m raping you when it comes to my offer…..it’s not that I don’t like you….it’s just business…..so are you going to take my offer or not?”

Rule 5) Spend 5min of every day looking at your car as you walk away. When all goes to crap and it will…..at least you have something pretty in your life that you can look at and almost trust.

Rule 6) Always look at the wind charts before you skydive…titanium rods suck!

[Lexington]

Rule 6) Always look at the wind charts before you skydive…titanium rods suck![/QUOTE]

That's one way to end up with a bad knee.

[dcaron9999]

Originally Posted by shah269

Rule 2) Bitches be crazy....well the correct term is Bitches be baby crazy. The girl says she is thinking of wanting a kid....she will have a kid. Regardless of any logic you use she will have a kid. Be it yours or someone else’s.

So true !!!
Facing consequences of rule #2 for the last couple of years ...
After several failed attempts at getting pregnant (miscarriages, medical counselling, etc) the stubborn 45-year-old little misses still thinks she must have a baby, even if her personal finances are down the toilet, and her fragile health too (too many issues to list).

Quick budget calculations demonstrate that she could not make it on her own (without a child to raise). She even considered moving in with her ailing mother who lives 6 hours away. She is now thinking about adopting a kid, and downsizing our home to be able to afford it ...

Originally Posted by shah269

Rule 3) NEVER BUY A HOME! It is the worst investment you can make if you don’t have kids. In fact investing in a rusty nail to shove into your knee would be a better investment than buying a home. Girl wants you to buy a home so she can be happy….married or not tell her to GTFOH! Because when things go south and they usually do when you least expected you will be stuck with an underperforming asset in a neighborhood not set up for your recovery.

When we bought the house together, I made sure the paperwork stated that if we ever sell, my downpayment would return to me, and the rest of the returns would be split according to our payment agreement.

[IEDEI]

move to NYC. live it up. no regrets.

[shah269]

45 and needs to have kids? Not surprised at all. If you are a young guy, under 27 and dating or married (god I hope you are not) you won't understand any of this or if you are living in a larger city you won’t get this either...for your life is still....going strong and things look GREAT!

.....look we guys may screw up every now and then and let our dicks do the thinking....the worst that gets you is waking up next to a handsome well built rotund woman who you swore up and down to god looked like Charlese Theorn 7 hours and 10 shots ago! But now she looks…well let’s just say you don’t want to be there. And then there is the bipolar stripper you date for a little while because you thought she was bi and that she liked to dance on polls…..ok yeah that’s your dick talking….. And that time you were on the highway and it was wide open and you had just pulled on and were in third gear and the turbos was singing your name….so you floored it laughing like Side Show Bob as you blew past the cop doing 125+ in a 65…yeah that’s your dick. But all of that is fixable…just tell the cop he looked very handsome and that you had an itchy foot, change your phone number…or just say you have to run off to save your mother!

But, here is what happens to women at 27 years and 1 day. Their ovaries go into overdrive! And start screaming and yelling and well all the logic you were used to dealing with is GONE! Remember how you trusted her with keeping tabs on the bills and helping you manage your money and your social life….yeah…..that’s gone….99/100 of her friends now have a kid and she hasn’t been invited to a single play date and any time you go out to sushi and a martini she is looking longingly with desier over your shoulder at that handsome young man…….in the high chair screaming and banging his chop sticks on the table demanding to be feed right this instant. And then she looks at you….oh you…..yeah….apparently it’s your fault for being logical for not wanting to reproduce NOW!

Sure you were smart enough to get a good deal on the car and know how to take care of it and hell even smart enough to be well educated to have a good job…but you as a man are not smart enough to see mother nature sucker punch you square in the plums! That day..that’s a good day to walk out of your office around sunset and spend a few minutes admiring the liens of the 135…you see that crease that shoots straight from the top front fender off into infinity….god that’s sexy…that’s like looking at gorgeous woman in a bikini laying down and you can see the definition of her long strong legs. And that pouty lower bumper, like a plump lower lip of that gorgeous girl you dated while at university. You remember the one….she was so good you pulled a stomach muscle when she worked you over. Yeah it’s a good looking car….and yeah things look good and she looks good….do you trust her? HELL NO! Do you like her? Yeah! Love…god I would love to.

So if you haven’t paid for her education let her go and move on. Even if you have…show her the door.
If you were smart enough not to have bought a home together, sadly I was not this smart, after she has left move into a nice pad closer to the center of town.
And if it rained hard last night don’t go skydiving the next day no matter how bad the itch is! Just leave your new center of town pad, drive over to the local StarBucks and enjoy the view….of how good you car looks parked there and smile…..because in the end….you like me …made one right choice. You bought a beautiful car. That has no room for a baby seat!

As for me and NYC….god I would love to move close….but you know how those banks are! =) and well the job market isn’t really set up for that kind of a jump….even with an MBA, Six Simga Black Belt and security clearance…..the market for Project Managers is still tough. But soon…maybe in two years before I get too old and too creepy looking I’ll be able to escape.

[CAVU]

I love your posts! Keep'em coming!!!

One question: is any alcohol involved during the memorialization of your thoughts into this forum?

[shah269]

He ha no…..i’m an engineer not because I love engineering….don’t get me wrong I enjoy the process of design but I’m not an engineer by desire. I’m an engineer by necessity. As an immigrant to this country my career choices were very limited, and I chose engineering though my passions were economics and writing.
So whenever I get a chance, I read economic/social journals and when I can let my creativity run wild I let it…..glad you liked it.

It’s more of a cautionary tale of a man who thought he was doing the right thing by being a good husband and provider who ended up being betrayed and as long as I can smile I guess I’m doing better than most.

[IEDEI]

Originally Posted by shah269

As for me and NYC….god I would love to move close….but you know how those banks are! =) and well the job market isn’t really set up for that kind of a jump….even with an MBA, Six Simga Black Belt and security clearance…..the market for Project Managers is still tough. But soon…maybe in two years before I get too old and too creepy looking I’ll be able to escape.

if you want to move close...just do it. life is short. you are single....you are young and you have your health. screw the money.....screw the practicality...just LIVE!!!

i can't think of another place where you would have MORE jobs, man!

[Overpar56]

Originally Posted by IEDEI

move to NYC. live it up. no regrets.

Parking in NYC is a mortgage in itself. The 1er deserves better.

[IEDEI]

Originally Posted by Overpar56

Parking in NYC is a mortgage in itself. The 1er deserves better.

no. living in NYC is fucking great. I choose LIFE over material objects. My 1M is very happy in my parking garage.

[shah269]

Originally Posted by IEDEI

i can't think of another place where you would have MORE jobs, man!

I think i'm doing something wrong or something very wrong. i'm on linked in and even hried a resume writer / career counselor and so far i've had a hell of a time getting interviews in the city.
So if you know anyone who is a good head hunter in the city drop me a line. What's keeping me in NJ other than the underwater condo is the good paying job.....thanks in advance.

for those that do not know, NYC is a very odd place. There are two women for every one guy....and half the guys have very handsome boyfriends! That said it's gods gift to the dong!

[edisapimp]

Homeboy,

I am saying this as a medical provider and not with tongue-in-cheek: You need to talk to a professional about the ways you are feeling, especially your depression. Get a solid support system, discuss more frequently with those close to you what makes you happy. Explore your feelings, and get on some meds.

If it were up to me I would put 95% of patients I see on an SSRI (antidepressant).

Best of luck with the near future, take things one day, one hour at a time if you must, and try not to worry about the things you can't control.

[stangman]

I'm no doctor, but seems like a 135i is a fabulous anti-depressant. and no side effects, if you don't count tickets, etc.

Like the bumper sticker says,...

"For some there's therapists, for the rest of us there are BMW's"

[shah269]

+1 on the car and the living life.
Yeah I’m not where i want to be w/r to where i live or having my mind fully utilized at work. And due to the economy i dont see an escape.
But, i have good friends, I'm not sick or broken, i get to jump out of airplanes....oh and the ride that gets me there and back...she makes me smile! =)
I know what i have, it's situational depression. I'm a few credits shy of a BS in psychology, had to take lots of psychology classes the engineering girls were very rough around the edges and smelled no better. So the only cure for situational depression…or as Carter called it “A general malaise” is to change your situation.
Well I can’t, so I enjoy what I got….and in an hour when I leave work…I’m going to walk real slowly to my car and just enjoy how good she looks…though she needs a good wash. And then I’ll go to my yoga class where I’m the only guy in the class and every suburban hottie rocking the escalade is rocking a rock as big as my toe on her left had is secretly wishing she was coming home with me ;-)
Wait that last part was just me being a little delusional ;-) Or maybe not ;-)
hey you have to smile right? especially when you sit in that car.

[brake-fade]

Originally Posted by IEDEI

no. living in NYC is fucking great. I choose LIFE over material objects. My 1M is very happy in my parking garage.

Hahaha...am I the only one who sees the irony in that statement?

[davis449]

Originally Posted by shah269

45 and needs to have kids? Not surprised at all. If you are a young guy, under 27 and dating or married (god I hope you are not) you won't understand any of this or if you are living in a larger city you won’t get this either...for your life is still....going strong and things look GREAT!

.....look we guys may screw up every now and then and let our dicks do the thinking....the worst that gets you is waking up next to a handsome well built rotund woman who you swore up and down to god looked like Charlese Theorn 7 hours and 10 shots ago! But now she looks…well let’s just say you don’t want to be there. And then there is the bipolar stripper you date for a little while because you thought she was bi and that she liked to dance on polls…..ok yeah that’s your dick talking….. And that time you were on the highway and it was wide open and you had just pulled on and were in third gear and the turbos was singing your name….so you floored it laughing like Side Show Bob as you blew past the cop doing 125+ in a 65…yeah that’s your dick. But all of that is fixable…just tell the cop he looked very handsome and that you had an itchy foot, change your phone number…or just say you have to run off to save your mother!

But, here is what happens to women at 27 years and 1 day. Their ovaries go into overdrive! And start screaming and yelling and well all the logic you were used to dealing with is GONE! Remember how you trusted her with keeping tabs on the bills and helping you manage your money and your social life….yeah…..that’s gone….99/100 of her friends now have a kid and she hasn’t been invited to a single play date and any time you go out to sushi and a martini she is looking longingly with desier over your shoulder at that handsome young man…….in the high chair screaming and banging his chop sticks on the table demanding to be feed right this instant. And then she looks at you….oh you…..yeah….apparently it’s your fault for being logical for not wanting to reproduce NOW!

Sure you were smart enough to get a good deal on the car and know how to take care of it and hell even smart enough to be well educated to have a good job…but you as a man are not smart enough to see mother nature sucker punch you square in the plums! That day..that’s a good day to walk out of your office around sunset and spend a few minutes admiring the liens of the 135…you see that crease that shoots straight from the top front fender off into infinity….god that’s sexy…that’s like looking at gorgeous woman in a bikini laying down and you can see the definition of her long strong legs. And that pouty lower bumper, like a plump lower lip of that gorgeous girl you dated while at university. You remember the one….she was so good you pulled a stomach muscle when she worked you over. Yeah it’s a good looking car….and yeah things look good and she looks good….do you trust her? HELL NO! Do you like her? Yeah! Love…god I would love to.

So if you haven’t paid for her education let her go and move on. Even if you have…show her the door.
If you were smart enough not to have bought a home together, sadly I was not this smart, after she has left move into a nice pad closer to the center of town.
And if it rained hard last night don’t go skydiving the next day no matter how bad the itch is! Just leave your new center of town pad, drive over to the local StarBucks and enjoy the view….of how good you car looks parked there and smile…..because in the end….you like me …made one right choice. You bought a beautiful car. That has no room for a baby seat!

I really wish I could say it better than this. Really, I would type almost exactly this.

Here's the difference, I'm 32 and found a woman who can't have children and neither can I. Neither of us want them either. Doesn't matter because even if she does end up wanting kids and I don't, due to factors beyond BOTH of our control, it has to be a decision with effort put into because there will be no accidents here.

That said, up until 3 years ago, this is exactly how I lived my life and was perfectly happy with it. What you do need to be aware of is that there are potential downsides and things you have to be prepared to live with. From this age forward you will be judged more and more everyday you age past this by others who are old fashioned, judgmental pricks, and/or jealous people (haters) because you have neither A.) Married and/or B.) had children. If you are prepared to respond properly to them and are truly happy, this is of no concern to you. That said, note that as similarly stated above, the vast amount of women that surround you will still remain the same. You will be constantly be hunted by women who are looking for the father of their child or, even worse, the man that will be the father their baby daddy never was to her current baggage. They will come on easy, agree with everything you say, and then hit you with it when you least expect it. Be up front and always be yourself. Be prepared to kick whomever to the curb if they don't jive with your lifestyle. It's a tough thing to do, but always remember there are consequences to your actions.

[Overpar56]

Originally Posted by brake-fade

Hahaha...am I the only one who sees the irony in that statement?

No.

[IEDEI]

Originally Posted by brake-fade

Hahaha...am I the only one who sees the irony in that statement?

haha. well....my point is....the objects are not important, it's the life you live with those objects.

[shah269]

Come on a 1M in NYC....the guy is living the life...stop hating! No really! Come on! And NYC isn't all that bad for a sports car. It lives in a nice garage where it's safe from the sun and if you want to take it out for a spin there are lots of great roads outside of the city......and oh that 100mph run on the GWB at 3 am =) so wrong but so right! Or the sound a 135 makes in the tunnel....or in the village at 3am....sure it's no V12 but still you can't help but smile! =)

As for me….well made two mistakes….over the past decade and a half….maybe three if you count marrying the wrong woman from Finland and fighting tooth and nail to have her join me here in the US…..but at least I bought a very nice BMW that makes me smile =) even when i'm under my wing and 1k ft over her looking down! =)


ps
was on a dat with this very attractive girl last night....CPA in NYC makes over $100k does yoga great shape...likes fast cars..
Never traveled out of the country and oh yeah she wants to have kids NOW....yeah date 1 and the 30+ women are asking to have kids NOW! Hi...aaaahh...let's talk about the food.....?
But the girl had the ovaries to tell me to "Man up and just say yes to kids." reall...man up...come on....OMG...it LOLed but what can i do?