weird sh*t my car has done

[mblaber]

Here is a collection of weird sh*t my car has done; stuff the dealer "can't reproduce" when I take it in.

1. Spurious oil level readings

Up/down 1 full quart. Yes, I am on a level surface when I check it. Dealer put in 1 quart when it read low. Next day it read 1 quart over. Go figure.

2. Lousy idle/low power/surging when cold

Dealer kept overnight and "could not reproduce". Said these cars are like that.

3. Occasionally, when tapping throttle, engine revs come down to ~500 and nearly stalls

Normal idle is ~700. But it does this dip down to 500 often after throttle tap (but again, not when my dealer does it)

4. Here's a goodie - slow down and come to a stop sign, put in clutch and revs stay up at around 2,000 rpm. Tap throttle to perhaps bring revs down, and tap causes revs to go up to 3,000 rpm (and stays there). I can either turn off engine and restart at this point. Or load up by engaging 1st gear and pulling away (revs come back down). Dealer "unable to reproduce".

This is almost as bad as Windows. (is the software on these things written by Microsoft?).

No codes thrown on any of these things.

[josemh23]

My 2011 has some weird stuff too... The oil level readings, a right side plasticky clanck sound and in slow traffic it goes from D to N. Of course dealer could not reproduce it and they did not gave explanations

[tritonx]

I once had the oil reading being one bar low, then getting back to full, without doing anything.

Are you using the best fuel you can buy?

If Microsoft ever get in BMW, I won't buy them anymore for sure. I wish we could have access to the source code of the software that runs our car, especially since they are more computerized than ever.

I can't wait for the hackers to find a way to reprogram my "professional bmw radio"

[Turbolader]

Are you kidding? The code would look like:

UponStart{
  Check_for_mods();
  Really_Check_for_Mods();
  Really_Really_Check_for_Mods();

  if (!Warranty) {
    int n = Rand(1);
    select case (n){
      case 1:
        Initiate_Service_Request();
        NotifyBMW();
        return;

      case 2:
        Initiate_Vanos_Failure();
        NotifyBMW();
        return;

      case 3:
        Initiate_Random_Noise();
        return;

      default:
        Initiate_HPFP_Failure();
        LowerPower(50\%);
        NotifyBMW();
        return; }

[Tony135]

Originally Posted by Turbolader

Are you kidding? The code would look like:

UponStart{
  Check_for_mods();
  Really_Check_for_Mods();
  Really_Really_Check_for_Mods();

  if (!Warranty) {
    int n = Rand(1);
    select case (n){
      case 1:
        Initiate_Service_Request();
        NotifyBMW();
        return;

      case 2:
        Initiate_Vanos_Failure();
        NotifyBMW();
        return;

      case 3:
        Initiate_Random_Noise();
        return;

      default:
        Initiate_HPFP_Failure();
        LowerPower(50\%);
        NotifyBMW();
        return; }

Hahahaha

[ILoveChess100]

My car has done lots of weird stuff too, to the point where I hooked up a camera to the passenger headrest and 2 external mics (one in trunk, one under the hood) so the dealership stops telling me I am crazy.

Twice now the car has stalled (DCT equipped) when making a low speed (15-20mph) right hand turn in manual mode with sport button on and downshifting right before entering the turn. When the car stalls, it puts the tranny in N and the power steering and braking stops working. Lovely, especially when trying to complete a turn that was just initiated with a car in the other lane.

Once, under full throttle acceleration in sport mode in regular D position, the engine just started bouncing off the rev limiter and refused to shift into second until I let off the gas and a few seconds later the tranny hooked up again. I guess the car didn't feel like accelerating at that particular time - perhaps next time I should ask for its permission first if its ok to floor it.

Although supposedly 'resolved' already through a software upgrade, when I drove the car home from the dealership with 35 miles on the odometer (note 35 not 35k) and put it in reverse the car also stalled after a couple of violent surges backwards. What a great way to start my ownership of this vehicle. This was reproduced and escalated all the way to BMWNA.

There are some pretty serious software issues with these newer 135i's - in my case all related to the DCT. On some occasions it is just downright scary and definitely a safety issue.

[pinmagic]

Originally Posted by tritonx

If Microsoft ever get in BMW, I won't buy them anymore for sure.

You've probably seen this floating on the internet (and no, GM did not issue this - that's an urban legend - see Snopes.com).

IF MICROSOFT DESIGNED CARS:

1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.

4. When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.

6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.

7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.

8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine. (HEY, WAIT A MINUTE....)

[fullboost]

Originally Posted by josemh23

My 2011 has some weird stuff too... The oil level readings, a right side plasticky clanck sound and in slow traffic it goes from D to N. Of course dealer could not reproduce it and they did not gave explanations

My '11 had a right side clanck sound too. It turned out to be the passenger seatbelt hitting against the b pillar.