EINSER M's Темникова E82 AW 1M build thread

[Jay-K]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

you two keep this thing going!!!! this kit is going to be PHENOMENAL

START SAVING NOW ...

[EINSER M]

my USS RUBICON.CORE JEEP project gets 3 days of lift/shop time next week to put on the armory. I will update soon! stay tuned!

In the meantime, I stumbled upon this today (reposted below in its entirety)

http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/201...jeep-wrangler/



Unfortunately, the above screen shot, captured by the folks at 102.3 Blake FM, is all that remains of one of the truest macho, testosterone-fueled Craigslist car ads that we’ll see this year. Whether or not the McKinney, Texas man behind it sold his beloved Jeep Wrangler Sahara is only known to him and a potential buyer – it’s a pretty great deal depending on the Jeep’s CarFax – but it’s hard to debate that he didn’t have one of the best sales pitches that you’ll read in any Craigslist ad, short of the infamous Pontiac ad from last year.

Feast your eyes on this poetry, lest you be too un-manly to handle all of its awesomeness. What? He’s a much better writer than I am.


I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “Pajama party Barbie Jeep” you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words “MEAT & POTATOES”. This is the All American chariot of the free world.

You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter Jeep son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this Jeep Wrangler Sahara.

So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.

This baby’s pulse is pumping 4.0 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her straight six nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can’t handle your stick shifter, or reach the clutch pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you stall her out, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.

It has A/C but are you kidding me….Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: doors off, top down. “What if it rains?”. . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn’t give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he’s already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.

If you are looking for the kind of jeep that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the “carpet doesn’t get wet and soggy” Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of shit. Cause this thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lined to let the blood drain out from the buffalo you just killed, with your bare hands. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your “sissy sponge glove car wash kit” in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are Tim Gillespie and you can pressure wash your truck on the inside. She’s got rhino lined floors with a full roll cage in case that buffalo comes back to life while you’re doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river.

If you’re thinking about Mexican chrome bumpers for her, think again. The bumper bashers come hand forged in a blacksmith shop in Franklin County over a wood burnin fire, out of 4 inch well casing, and railroad tracks and then I welded em to the damn chassis. That way if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don’t lose her when your convoy gets hit by a taliband roadside suicide bomber.

And forget about putting one of those “It’s a Jeep Thing. . .You wouldn’t understand” stickers on this machine cause when you’re spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.

If you think you’re ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you buy this jeep you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this shit will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked….

1. More chest hair.
2. You’re growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.
5. You’re taking a job at the lumber mill.
6. Your car carries five kegs.
7. Penis enlargement.
8. Catch more fish.
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. Sex in the yard.
11. Sex in the garage.
12. All male offspring.
13. Chiseled jaw line.
14. Not giving a damn.
15. Flesh turning to steel.
16. Higher salary
17. Promotions.
18. Better looking wives.
19. Better looking mistresses.
20. More golfing
21. More killing stuff.
22. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
23. More tools in your garage.
24. Bigger TV
25. Wife takes out the trash
26. Four Wheel Drive
27. Wife brings trash can in from road.
28. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor.
29. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
30. Chuck Norris.
31. John McCain
32. Steaks for dinner.
33. Winning the Lottery.
34. Women on the side.
35. Wrestling with bea
36. Building shit out of stone.
37. Riding Lawn Mower.
38. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
39. Bar Fights.
40. Wife picks you up from Thee Gentlemen’s Club.
41. Craftsman Tools.
42. Jay Bisset.
43. Welding stuff.
44. Digging holes.
45. Huge Piece of meat.

Put your GPS back in your purse.

Sounds good doesn’t it?

This jeep has carried me through 155,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. If you think you’ve worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And Ill handle the rest.

But if you think you’re going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Sixty Five Hundred Dollars. . .American Cash. I’m not selling you this car unless you are clearly a pure blooded American Species, so don’t even think about it.

[Black Flagged]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

my USS RUBICON.CORE JEEP project gets 3 days of lift/shop time next week to put on the armory. I will update soon! stay tuned!

In the meantime, I stumbled upon this today (reposted below in its entirety)

http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/201...jeep-wrangler/



Unfortunately, the above screen shot, captured by the folks at 102.3 Blake FM, is all that remains of one of the truest macho, testosterone-fueled Craigslist car ads that we’ll see this year. Whether or not the McKinney, Texas man behind it sold his beloved Jeep Wrangler Sahara is only known to him and a potential buyer – it’s a pretty great deal depending on the Jeep’s CarFax – but it’s hard to debate that he didn’t have one of the best sales pitches that you’ll read in any Craigslist ad, short of the infamous Pontiac ad from last year.

Feast your eyes on this poetry, lest you be too un-manly to handle all of its awesomeness. What? He’s a much better writer than I am.


I should start by saying that if you are looking for a “Pajama party Barbie Jeep” you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words “MEAT & POTATOES”. This is the All American chariot of the free world.

You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter Jeep son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this Jeep Wrangler Sahara.

So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.

This baby’s pulse is pumping 4.0 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her straight six nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can’t handle your stick shifter, or reach the clutch pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you stall her out, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.

It has A/C but are you kidding me….Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: doors off, top down. “What if it rains?”. . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn’t give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he’s already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.

If you are looking for the kind of jeep that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the “carpet doesn’t get wet and soggy” Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of shit. Cause this thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lined to let the blood drain out from the buffalo you just killed, with your bare hands. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your “sissy sponge glove car wash kit” in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are Tim Gillespie and you can pressure wash your truck on the inside. She’s got rhino lined floors with a full roll cage in case that buffalo comes back to life while you’re doing 80 over some mountain pass or flooded river.

If you’re thinking about Mexican chrome bumpers for her, think again. The bumper bashers come hand forged in a blacksmith shop in Franklin County over a wood burnin fire, out of 4 inch well casing, and railroad tracks and then I welded em to the damn chassis. That way if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don’t lose her when your convoy gets hit by a taliband roadside suicide bomber.

And forget about putting one of those “It’s a Jeep Thing. . .You wouldn’t understand” stickers on this machine cause when you’re spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . …real quick.

If you think you’re ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you buy this jeep you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this shit will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked….

1. More chest hair.
2. You’re growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.
5. You’re taking a job at the lumber mill.
6. Your car carries five kegs.
7. Penis enlargement.
8. Catch more fish.
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. Sex in the yard.
11. Sex in the garage.
12. All male offspring.
13. Chiseled jaw line.
14. Not giving a damn.
15. Flesh turning to steel.
16. Higher salary
17. Promotions.
18. Better looking wives.
19. Better looking mistresses.
20. More golfing
21. More killing stuff.
22. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
23. More tools in your garage.
24. Bigger TV
25. Wife takes out the trash
26. Four Wheel Drive
27. Wife brings trash can in from road.
28. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor.
29. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
30. Chuck Norris.
31. John McCain
32. Steaks for dinner.
33. Winning the Lottery.
34. Women on the side.
35. Wrestling with bea
36. Building shit out of stone.
37. Riding Lawn Mower.
38. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
39. Bar Fights.
40. Wife picks you up from Thee Gentlemen’s Club.
41. Craftsman Tools.
42. Jay Bisset.
43. Welding stuff.
44. Digging holes.
45. Huge Piece of meat.

Put your GPS back in your purse.

Sounds good doesn’t it?

This jeep has carried me through 155,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie “300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. If you think you’ve worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And Ill handle the rest.

But if you think you’re going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Sixty Five Hundred Dollars. . .American Cash. I’m not selling you this car unless you are clearly a pure blooded American Species, so don’t even think about it.

lol... that's the shit right there, sign me up... now i just need to find out where i can get a pet t-rex

[Artemis]

Watch me running for cover, K.

Not kidding that they added this explanation: "You may [be] wondering why there was a GT wing installed in the FRONT, actually this is to imitate the Scion TC Time Attack Machine". Practical for speeding in reverse...

[EINSER M]

Originally Posted by Gangsta D

lol... that's the shit right there, sign me up... now i just need to find out where i can get a pet t-rex

cant wait for you to write one up for the X1 when it's for sale

[EINSER M]

Originally Posted by Artemis

Watch me running for cover, K.

Not kidding that they added this explanation: "You may [be] wondering why there was a GT wing installed in the FRONT, actually this is to imitate the Scion TC Time Attack Machine". Practical for speeding in reverse...

mon dieu! that front wing was strictly for the show right????

[Jay-K]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

mon dieu! that front wing was strictly for the show right????

[Black Flagged]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

cant wait for you to write one up for the X1 when it's for sale

i dont think ill need one, the X1 will sell it self.... its all about resale value... right.... not a mass produced car for decades.... its all about resale value...

[EINSER M]

Originally Posted by Gangsta D

i dont think ill need one, the X1 will sell it self.... its all about resale value... right.... not a mass produced car for decades.... its all about resale value...

ha dont get me started with the x1
you judas
you are not coming to ED with us in 2015

[Black Flagged]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

ha dont get me started with the x1
you judas
you are not coming to ED with us in 2015

now now, i still have an E88 that will need to be upgraded soon... around early 2015... or so...

[EINSER M]

Originally Posted by Gangsta D

now now, i still have an E88 that will need to be upgraded soon... around early 2015... or so...

ha ha ha
she's up for it then let's do it!

[eeghie]

Originally Posted by Artemis

Watch me running for cover, K.

Not kidding that they added this explanation: "You may [be] wondering why there was a GT wing installed in the FRONT, actually this is to imitate the Scion TC Time Attack Machine". Practical for speeding in reverse...

any pubic hair on the track will rack up a hefty spoiler repair charge!

[EINSER M]

some USS RUBICON.CORE build updates

self installed the 18,800 lumens 50 inch LED bar myself



the rear tire carrier upgrade from WARN went in



LET THERE BE LIGHT!
50 inch bar and two aux DUALLY HD fogs hooked up





WARN rear numper and tire carrier

[ilikebmxbikes]

jeep is looking sick

[EINSER M]

drove home and it started to downpour...went to a gas station and grabbed a box of condom....exposed wiring no more

[Artemis]

Originally Posted by EINSER M

drove home and it started to downpour...went to a gas station and grabbed a box of condom....exposed wiring no more

[Artemis]

Ever considered a 911, K. ?

[EINSER M]

Originally Posted by Artemis

Ever considered a 911, K. ?

oh la vache!!! P-cars are out of my reach but i would kill for a techart GT 911TT

[ozinaldo]

Originally Posted by Artemis

Ever considered a 911, K. ?

Nice to see that Porsches have feelings too.

[Artemis]

Originally Posted by ozinaldo

Nice to see that Porsches have feelings too.

K. as Teddy and Oz as Panda.

[ozinaldo]

Originally Posted by Artemis

K. as Teddy and Oz as Panda.

Thanks Artemis, always wondered how would I feel if I was a panda! Now I know and it rocks.

[EINSER M]

glorious finish to the F1 season. 9th consecutive record smashing win by lord VETTEL in his Red Bull Racing F1 RB9. Moments like this live forever.