Programmable clown nose, locks, etc.

George Chronis · 09-30-2005, 11:09 AM

I went to the dealer today to get this 19.1 update and he said that there was something wrong with their computers initially and then something today with the BMW servers and they hadn't received it yet. He said that this update will enable them to do the following on my 330 auto, no iDrive:

1. Program clown nose to blink when car is locked (no alarm)
2. Lock doors after car starts moving

HOWEVER, he showed me a print out from BMW that said that all cars manufactured after Sep. 2005 will be able to perform these functions without programming (using the small menu for the other settings on the console).

My car of course is not Sep. production. I'm just letting everyone know, so that they can make sure they have this if they need it.

Also, he said that there's no software update to make pre Sep. 2005 cars have this functionality, because it's a hardware issue that the pre Sep. cars simply don't have. I don't know if all this is true, but this is what he said and I did see this printout that mentioned what I stated above.

timlang · 09-30-2005, 06:03 PM

My car was produced on/around Sept 28 - I wonder if it will have the new functionality ?

timlang · 09-30-2005, 06:06 PM

Nevermind, I just read in another thread (by e90fleet) that all cars produced after Sept 5 should have the new features.

09-30-2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George Chronis

I went to the dealer today to get this 19.1 update and he said that there was something wrong with their computers initially and then something today with the BMW servers and they hadn't received it yet. He said that this update will enable them to do the following on my 330 auto, no iDrive:

1. Program clown nose to blink when car is locked (no alarm)
2. Lock doors after car starts moving

HOWEVER, he showed me a print out from BMW that said that all cars manufactured after Sep. 2005 will be able to perform these functions without programming (using the small menu for the other settings on the console).

My car of course is not Sep. production. I'm just letting everyone know, so that they can make sure they have this if they need it.

Also, he said that there's no software update to make pre Sep. 2005 cars have this functionality, because it's a hardware issue that the pre Sep. cars simply don't have. I don't know if all this is true, but this is what he said and I did see this printout that mentioned what I stated above.

My car was produced on Aug 5th and I can program the door lock thing via iDrive.

tima · 09-30-2005, 07:39 PM

Thanks much for the update! I've been waiting for both the 'clown nose blink sans alarm' and the auto door lock at 5mph.

The way I read your msg. is that only post August '05 production, non-iDrive cars can take advantage of the software update. Is that right?

vleivo · 10-01-2005, 05:49 AM

My car is non idrive and produced week 36 that is september 5 to 11 i will be pissed if i dont have the updates.

LEDZEP · 10-01-2005, 06:23 AM

E90Fleet - we need your input on this. My understanding is that the long awaited Sept update (which now looks like it will be an Oct update) is supposed to add all the functionality that the Sept production cars have. I am most interested in being able to have the seat and mirror settings in the key profiles, and being able to self-enable the auto-locking, etc.

I don't want to 'react' to rumors, but if BMW renigs on that then they are essentially "removing" functions from the car that they advertised and that I was promised would be there.

Dealers can already program your auto locks, DRL, etc.

We should be receiving our 325xiT in a week or two and it should have all of the personal profile functions.

mreloc · 10-01-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LEDZEP

E90Fleet - we need your input on this. My understanding is that the long awaited Sept update (which now looks like it will be an Oct update) is supposed to add all the functionality that the Sept production cars have. I am most interested in being able to have the seat and mirror settings in the key profiles, and being able to self-enable the auto-locking, etc.

I don't want to 'react' to rumors, but if BMW renigs on that then they are essentially "removing" functions from the car that they advertised and that I was promised would be there.

Dealers can already program your auto locks, DRL, etc.

We should be receiving our 325xiT in a week or two and it should have all of the personal profile functions.

Read the fine print at the back of the E90 brochure- they can change specs at any time at their will... they are not liable to give you what was advertised, believe it or not.

George Chronis · 10-02-2005, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CMD

My car was produced on Aug 5th and I can program the door lock thing via iDrive.

My post concerns non iDrive cars. We never had this functionality till now (After Sep. 5 that is).

George Chronis · 10-02-2005, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tima

Thanks much for the update! I've been waiting for both the 'clown nose blink sans alarm' and the auto door lock at 5mph.

The way I read your msg. is that only post August '05 production, non-iDrive cars can take advantage of the software update. Is that right?

No, these are two different things. The update eveyone can get and it does different things (haven't even gotten that yet). However, post Sep. 5 cars will be able to change these settings without the dealer programming them in. The rest of us will have to get the dealer to program them in.

George Chronis · 10-02-2005, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LEDZEP

E90Fleet - we need your input on this. My understanding is that the long awaited Sept update (which now looks like it will be an Oct update) is supposed to add all the functionality that the Sept production cars have. I am most interested in being able to have the seat and mirror settings in the key profiles, and being able to self-enable the auto-locking, etc.

I don't want to 'react' to rumors, but if BMW renigs on that then they are essentially "removing" functions from the car that they advertised and that I was promised would be there.

Dealers can already program your auto locks, DRL, etc.

We should be receiving our 325xiT in a week or two and it should have all of the personal profile functions.

I specifically asked my dealer the exact same question and he said changing the clown nose and locks will not be possible for the owners to change in pre-Sep. cars, even after the software update. Unless he doesn't know what he's talking about (which is totally possible). This is what he told me, though. He specifically said that for these changes to become possible for us to do, we need hardware changes in the car, not just software.

Sho · 10-02-2005, 10:42 AM

I checked with my sales (June, 05' car); and he is sure I can get auto lock to active, but crown nose. He is still checking with their service department, and i hope they will be able to enable both functions.

icedragon · 10-02-2005, 02:54 PM

Yeah, even if there's no alarm, a blinking red light is still better than nothing

itznin · 10-03-2005, 10:34 AM

So we CAN get the clown nose pre-sept or no?

I am getting confused reading these posts....

If we CAN is it apart of the CIP 19.01?

Oz · 10-03-2005, 10:51 AM

Do you need to have the BMW alarm installed to have the clown noise? I have my lights flashing after I lock/unlock. The clown noise would be beneficial to me

txusa03 · 10-03-2005, 11:00 AM

BMW is a bunch of BS. My dealer told me they cannot make the clown nose blink. I bought the car in May and for over 4 months, I still do not have drive away door lock. That is BS when one dealer is saying one thing and another dealer is saying another thing. I am very disappointed with how BMW handles the services for the e90. I would really appreciated if someone had their dealer programmed the clown nose to blink without the alram installed. Please post a photo of the invoice and the procedure they performed. Thanks.

We need to help one another out if one has something doen and post a photo of the invoice with details.

Scott Carpenter · 10-03-2005, 11:37 AM

Okay, as far as the CIP 19.01 update every dealer should have it, We do and after sept 05 you can do it yourself before sept 05 you have to bring it in but we have programed a few sofar with not problem. (for the autolock) As far as the red thing on the mirro everyone is calling a crown nose this is the first Iam hearding of this, i didn't know that you could do that....

txusa03 · 10-03-2005, 11:42 AM

that is exactly what I am saying. One memeber here said their dealer could do the clown nose while my dealer said they cannot.

BMW need to straing out their acts and stop messing with their customers.

Tape, since you work for BMW, could you talk to a technician about the clown nose blinking with out an alarm and ask the technician if it could be done? If yes, any info he/she could share would be greatly appreciated. Frankly, I am a little frustrated with BMW at the moment. No offend to you though...

stressdoc · 10-03-2005, 03:00 PM

If George talked with Steve Day at Machens then that is likely to be gospel. The guy is awesome.

Oh, and it is 'clown nose' (like ronald mcdonald or bozo), not 'crown nose' -- my guess is this involves the alarm, but let's see what E90Fleet or someone who knows their sh** tells us.

Imperial · 10-03-2005, 03:11 PM

so wtf, I'm lost as hell, too. My dealers all told me CIP 19.1 update didn't even exist and that it'd take a couple days to do whatever update "might" exist. My build-date is June 2005 (took delivery on 7/31) so where does that put me? I have seen so many threads contradicting each other regarding this issue and my local BMW centers have NOT helped at all.

basically, all I can say is

OMGWTFBBQ!?

RichReg · 10-03-2005, 03:25 PM

19.1 is indeed the latest version for September.

I am going to my dealer on Wednesday to have the auto-locks & DRLs programmed as nothing has been set since my car arrived in the States back on 6/30.

I haven't heard anything back though about the key-seat memory or the clown-nose, but I'll call them tomorrow to follow-up.

stressdoc · 10-03-2005, 03:44 PM

I agree that it would be a massive mistake on BMWs part if they do not get pre-sept production cars to have key function memories for seat and mirror placements. I think what George was saying is that he was told that pre-sept cars can get their settings changed (for auto lock and blinking nose) at the dealers, but they will never be able to change those functions on their own, because they do not have the hardware. But post-sept production cars will be able to adjust those functions on their own without going to the dealer for programming. In short, you pre-sept's can have your dealer set your clown nose one way or the other, you just cannot blow (change) it without your dealer's electronic hanky. The patient (post-sept) among us can do this to their heart's delight in the privacy of their own dark garages.

09-30-2005, 11:09 AM	#1
George Chronis Private 3 Rep 73 Posts Drives: 330i 2006 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Columbia, MO iTrader: (0)	Programmable clown nose, locks, etc. I went to the dealer today to get this 19.1 update and he said that there was something wrong with their computers initially and then something today with the BMW servers and they hadn't received it yet. He said that this update will enable them to do the following on my 330 auto, no iDrive: 1. Program clown nose to blink when car is locked (no alarm) 2. Lock doors after car starts moving HOWEVER, he showed me a print out from BMW that said that all cars manufactured after Sep. 2005 will be able to perform these functions without programming (using the small menu for the other settings on the console). My car of course is not Sep. production. I'm just letting everyone know, so that they can make sure they have this if they need it. Also, he said that there's no software update to make pre Sep. 2005 cars have this functionality, because it's a hardware issue that the pre Sep. cars simply don't have. I don't know if all this is true, but this is what he said and I did see this printout that mentioned what I stated above. __________________ http://cybergeorge.net/
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09-30-2005, 06:03 PM	#2
timlang Private First Class 4 Rep 114 Posts Drives: 2018 330i Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Vancouver, BC iTrader: (0)	My car was produced on/around Sept 28 - I wonder if it will have the new functionality ? __________________ 18' 330i xDrive M Sport Edition II - Mineral Gray/Black (Canadian Model 'eh!) 14', 13', 11' & 08' 328i xDrive - Mineral Gray/Black, Steptronic, PP, Nav (Canadian) 06' 325i - Sparkling Graphite/Black/Burl, Steptronic, PP (Canadian)
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09-30-2005, 06:06 PM	#3
timlang Private First Class 4 Rep 114 Posts Drives: 2018 330i Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Vancouver, BC iTrader: (0)	Nevermind, I just read in another thread (by e90fleet) that all cars produced after Sept 5 should have the new features. __________________ 18' 330i xDrive M Sport Edition II - Mineral Gray/Black (Canadian Model 'eh!) 14', 13', 11' & 08' 328i xDrive - Mineral Gray/Black, Steptronic, PP, Nav (Canadian) 06' 325i - Sparkling Graphite/Black/Burl, Steptronic, PP (Canadian)
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09-30-2005, 07:39 PM	#5
tima Custom User Title 17 Rep 215 Posts Drives: 330i ZSP/TiAg/Blk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Wisconsin iTrader: (0)	Thanks much for the update! I've been waiting for both the 'clown nose blink sans alarm' and the auto door lock at 5mph. The way I read your msg. is that only post August '05 production, non-iDrive cars can take advantage of the software update. Is that right? __________________ tima get off the phone and drive Last edited by tima; 09-30-2005 at 08:59 PM..
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10-01-2005, 05:49 AM	#6
vleivo Private First Class 8 Rep 138 Posts Drives: e90 325i steptronic Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Finland iTrader: (0)	My car is non idrive and produced week 36 that is september 5 to 11 i will be pissed if i dont have the updates. __________________ Bmw 325i -06 "Slush o' matic" 20" Hartge classics with Falken 245/30 and 285/25Eisenmann race 2x76mmK&N Euro cone filterH&R Cupkit raceOem Front and Rear spoiler* Xenon led ringsBlacklines
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10-01-2005, 06:23 AM	#7
LEDZEP Lieutenant General 418 Rep 12,276 Posts Drives: 2009 E70 & 2011 F25 Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Area 51 iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 X3 35i M Sport [7.62] 2009 X5 M Sport [0.00] 2007 328xi E90 [0.00] 2006 325xiT E91 [0.00]	E90Fleet - we need your input on this. My understanding is that the long awaited Sept update (which now looks like it will be an Oct update) is supposed to add all the functionality that the Sept production cars have. I am most interested in being able to have the seat and mirror settings in the key profiles, and being able to self-enable the auto-locking, etc. I don't want to 'react' to rumors, but if BMW renigs on that then they are essentially "removing" functions from the car that they advertised and that I was promised would be there. Dealers can already program your auto locks, DRL, etc. We should be receiving our 325xiT in a week or two and it should have all of the personal profile functions. __________________ I think it is bad luck to be superstitious
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10-02-2005, 10:42 AM	#12
Sho Lieutenant 35 Rep 574 Posts Drives: E90 325i 6-speed Join Date: May 2005 Location: WA iTrader: (0)	I checked with my sales (June, 05' car); and he is sure I can get auto lock to active, but crown nose. He is still checking with their service department, and i hope they will be able to enable both functions. __________________ 2006 325i Sport - SSR GT7, Euro tails, Rogue Ikon muffler/w custom 3.5" piping, Painted OEM Splitters 2005 Toyota Matrix - Commuter
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10-03-2005, 10:34 AM	#14
itznin Captain 26 Rep 679 Posts Drives: 2013 F30 Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: North NJ iTrader: (2)	So we CAN get the clown nose pre-sept or no? I am getting confused reading these posts.... If we CAN is it apart of the CIP 19.01?
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10-03-2005, 10:51 AM	#15
Oz Lieutenant Colonel 33 Rep 1,770 Posts Drives: 2006 330i, 2004 X5 Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Wayne, NJ iTrader: (1) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	Do you need to have the BMW alarm installed to have the clown noise? I have my lights flashing after I lock/unlock. The clown noise would be beneficial to me __________________ 2006 330i Steptronic/Alpine White/Black Leather/Burl Walnut Trim/Premium Package/iDrive/Heated Seats/Winter: STYLE 159 Blizzak LM-22 RFT/Summer: TBD 2004 X5 Steptronic/Alpine White/Grey Leather/Poplar Trim/Premium Package/Heated Seats/iPod Adapter
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10-03-2005, 11:00 AM	#16
txusa03 Major General 548 Rep 6,563 Posts Drives: TS330iPPSP6MT Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet Earth iTrader: (3)	BMW is a bunch of BS. My dealer told me they cannot make the clown nose blink. I bought the car in May and for over 4 months, I still do not have drive away door lock. That is BS when one dealer is saying one thing and another dealer is saying another thing. I am very disappointed with how BMW handles the services for the e90. I would really appreciated if someone had their dealer programmed the clown nose to blink without the alram installed. Please post a photo of the invoice and the procedure they performed. Thanks. We need to help one another out if one has something doen and post a photo of the invoice with details.
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10-03-2005, 11:37 AM	#17
Scott Carpenter BMW Employee 11 Rep 134 Posts Drives: 2006 E90 325i Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ft Lauderdale iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 BMW 325I [0.00] 2003 Cadillac Escalade [0.00]	Okay, as far as the CIP 19.01 update every dealer should have it, We do and after sept 05 you can do it yourself before sept 05 you have to bring it in but we have programed a few sofar with not problem. (for the autolock) As far as the red thing on the mirro everyone is calling a crown nose this is the first Iam hearding of this, i didn't know that you could do that....
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10-03-2005, 11:42 AM	#18
txusa03 Major General 548 Rep 6,563 Posts Drives: TS330iPPSP6MT Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet Earth iTrader: (3)	that is exactly what I am saying. One memeber here said their dealer could do the clown nose while my dealer said they cannot. BMW need to straing out their acts and stop messing with their customers. Tape, since you work for BMW, could you talk to a technician about the clown nose blinking with out an alarm and ask the technician if it could be done? If yes, any info he/she could share would be greatly appreciated. Frankly, I am a little frustrated with BMW at the moment. No offend to you though... Last edited by txusa03; 10-03-2005 at 11:54 AM..
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10-03-2005, 03:00 PM	#19
stressdoc Moderator 618 Rep 10,855 Posts Drives: BMW i8; Toy 4runner TRD pro Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Waco TX iTrader: (0)	If George talked with Steve Day at Machens then that is likely to be gospel. The guy is awesome. Oh, and it is 'clown nose' (like ronald mcdonald or bozo), not 'crown nose' -- my guess is this involves the alarm, but let's see what E90Fleet or someone who knows their sh** tells us.
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10-03-2005, 03:11 PM	#20
Imperial First Lieutenant 11 Rep 304 Posts Drives: '06 330i Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Del Mar, CA iTrader: (0)	so wtf, I'm lost as hell, too. My dealers all told me CIP 19.1 update didn't even exist and that it'd take a couple days to do whatever update "might" exist. My build-date is June 2005 (took delivery on 7/31) so where does that put me? I have seen so many threads contradicting each other regarding this issue and my local BMW centers have NOT helped at all. basically, all I can say is OMGWTFBBQ!? __________________ 2006 330i 6MT - Black Sapphire Metallic - Terra Leather - ZSP - ZPP - iDrive - Sirius
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10-03-2005, 03:25 PM	#21
RichReg Colonel 121 Rep 2,099 Posts Drives: 2015 435Xi GC & 2000 323Ci. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Jersey iTrader: (0)	19.1 is indeed the latest version for September. I am going to my dealer on Wednesday to have the auto-locks & DRLs programmed as nothing has been set since my car arrived in the States back on 6/30. I haven't heard anything back though about the key-seat memory or the clown-nose, but I'll call them tomorrow to follow-up.
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10-03-2005, 03:44 PM	#22
stressdoc Moderator 618 Rep 10,855 Posts Drives: BMW i8; Toy 4runner TRD pro Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Waco TX iTrader: (0)	I agree that it would be a massive mistake on BMWs part if they do not get pre-sept production cars to have key function memories for seat and mirror placements. I think what George was saying is that he was told that pre-sept cars can get their settings changed (for auto lock and blinking nose) at the dealers, but they will never be able to change those functions on their own, because they do not have the hardware. But post-sept production cars will be able to adjust those functions on their own without going to the dealer for programming. In short, you pre-sept's can have your dealer set your clown nose one way or the other, you just cannot blow (change) it without your dealer's electronic hanky. The patient (post-sept) among us can do this to their heart's delight in the privacy of their own dark garages.
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