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      09-21-2008, 04:13 AM   #1
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Car trouble and a speeding ticket

CAR TROUBLEA blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
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      09-21-2008, 06:23 AM   #2
white 125M
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Very good.
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      09-21-2008, 07:21 AM   #3
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Bloke's sick of his BMW breaking down, usually when he's running late for work. After forking out for the umpteenth time to get it fixed his mechanic says "ditch the Beemer & buy an egg"!? Bloke's dubious but takes the plunge. Everything's sweet, the egg runs like a dream & he's never late for work again. Til one day when the egg just wouldn't start. In desperation he rings his mechanic. "My egg won't start!" he says. The mechanic has a think and tells the bloke, "Try pulling out the yolk". Bloke rushes out to the garage, pulls out the yolk, pushes the start button (he's got comfort access) and the egg bursts into life. Rushes back into the house, picks up the phone and says to the mechanic..................
"It's all white now!"

You started it Matty.
Driving - Man 135 (LeMans/Black). BMW Perf SW & SSK. Quaife LSD, KW V2s, Ground Control camber plates, M3 front Control Arms & SB, Helix IC, AR DPs, PROcede V5, ER CP, Forge DVs, BMS OCC, Setrab OC, P3 Gauge.
Riding - ZX14R Kwaka, Avanti Aggressor, Malvern Star Equipe, Mini Mal.
Proudly from the Shire.
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      09-21-2008, 06:30 PM   #4
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Oh dear. Lame lame lame. I always liked this one:

A guys is driving his new 135i home, well over the speed limit - hard to avoid in a car like this...

As nature would have it, he flies past a cop at an intersection, who immediately pursues the beemer. The guy thinks about leaving the cop in a cloud of dust, which he could easily acheive in the twin turbo rocket, but thinks better of it and pulls over.

The police officer comes to his car, leans down and says “Listen mister, I’ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go.”

The guy thought for a moment and said... “My wife ran off with a cop last week, and when I saw you in my rear view mirror, I thought you were trying to give her back!”
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