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Sounds like a very shitty dealer experience, that reflects badly on BMW, but it is a dealer screwing (in my opinion), and not BMW. Each center has a basic set of expectancies, and other than that, they make up their own policies (crappy or not).
You should have been told that that the dep0osit would have been held, especially if you have that verbiage on the PO.... If you weren't told that then, I'd think they cannot hold your money.
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