Your list of wants is pretty much the same as mine was, except for the colors. I bought my 2012 135i M Sport 6MT with 33k miles in 2017 for $22k from CarMax and love it. I don't think they list their cars on any other website so search CarMax as well.
I actually prefer to buy cars without iDrive so that I can upgrade with a screen myself to the latest tech. Here's what I did for around $500:
https://www.1addicts.com/forums/show....php?t=1510420 . It has Android 8.0 so you can run any app you want, supports Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, and I added a trunk handle backup camera for $35.