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I am a trial lawyer. First, decide what you want AND make sure it is reasonable based on the facts (e.g. the $10k back and the BMW extended warranty). Second, call the general manager of the dealership and make the request in calm and straight forward terms. Third, immediately follow-up that call with an email to the General Manager that summarizes your request, his/her response, and the situation in brief terms. In the email, set a deadline of about 5 days out (based on the assumption he/she said "NO") for which you will take additional action if not resolved to your satisfaction. Then outline the additional action that will be taken but do not sound overtly threatening at anytime.
The key here is to show anyone that would sit in a jury or evaluate your situation that you have been fair, direct, and not a jerk. That will "win" almost every time in the court of public opinion, which will most likely force the dealerships hand. As someone else pointed out in this thread - they called you because they were panicked you had already hired a lawyer and they were trying to head it off at the pass but whoever called you did not do a good job.
Remember, if the dealership ultimately gives you the finger, you can seek much more than you initially asked for in the way of damages based on fraud related claims. This is not a lottery ticket but you should be compensated - if the 1M is to be driven in that manner it should be only by the owner that paid $10k over sticker (my opening to a jury in a nutshell).
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