Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls
Yeah every situation is different.
I know when my grandpa passed in 2013, it felt different and my mom even admitted it so. With him we had time to mentally prepare, comfort and grieve together- and while it sucked to see such a good man go- the pain he was going through (lung cancer) was a bit much to take, that there was a sigh of relief for him. He genuinely looked at peace when he left us.
With my dad it was so sudden, it's like an emotional 10.0 earthquake struck without warning
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My dad was awesome. A smart man who taught me to threat everyone equally and he gave my kids so much time and love I am forever grateful for those. He was diagnosed with cancer on the 12th of January, died the first of May.
Sure I had time to process the thought of losing him. I knew that from December. I had a huge battle with my remaining relatives and moved here to here to get away.
I am truly lucky I had him. Most nights I wake up still hearing my meltdown moment in my head. We were in traffic lights, on our way to the hospital. He took my hand and apologized for causing me so much work (at that point I had been up 22 hours per day for weeks) and I screamed at him to shut the fuck up. "you are my dad, my role model and because of you I've had the best of lives, and I can look forward to the future with no fear. I love you and this is my time to take care of you and you will never apologize again because that makes it feel like this is not the way things are meant to be."
I think what haunts me there is that I never told him before that that I loved him. Finns don't say that shit.