N55 135i all warning lights, no tach, nothing

[E13]

Drove to school, parked the car, then 8 hours later when I go to start it, nothing happens when I press the ignition. I try again, and the car starts, but it now has every single warning light as well as 52 error codes. Voltage is a steady 14.5. The lights also include all the little images in the lower center square like the lift post light, airbag light, as well as others I don’t know how to describe. Turned the car off and on again, but this time there are no lights. No tach, no blinkers, no stereo, just the ambient red light. While driving it’ll go between that and the Christmas dash, no apparent cause for when it switches.
Errors include PT-CAN errors, K-CAN, and terminal 15 line from CAS short to earth.
Any help is appreciated

[tracer bullet]

9 times out of 10 it's the battery, or a cable. Even if you measure good voltage with say a multimeter that doesn't mean that much if any actual current is going around. There are some common cables and of course I'd suggest pulling the battery and bringing it in for a check, or get a meter off Amazon designed for the job.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Z67MMGC...d_asin_title_7

Sounds like you're already thinking down that path. I'd say from like 15 years of browsing this site, it's ALWAYS battery (or cable) related when that much stuff goes nuts at once.

[GoRomeo]

Check your ground straps loose or corroded.

[E13]

Originally Posted by GoRomeo

Check your ground straps loose or corroded.

Late update: it was the FRM footwell module. There was an extended warranty sent out on it a few years ago. The dealer did not have the updated warranty and they tried to tell me it was expired in 2016, so I had to call BMW myself to find it. They ended up replacing it under warranty and everything was fixed