Homelink retrofit in an e88 - wiring

[krhodes1]

I'm doing the Homelink mirror retrofit in my e88 128i. I have a Homelink Autodimming mirror from an e88 135i (bought from eBay), and the retrofit wiring harness. I have read a pile of DIYs and have a BMW PDF, but it's for e9X cars. What I have run into is that the FZD overhead console for the e88 is different from that for an e9x and presumably an e82 coupe. Mine does not have a 20-pin connector as all the DIYs and the PDF shows, it has a pair of 14-pin connectors, one at each end. One white, one black. I imagine everything is there, I just need to know where the new wires need to go. The mirror end is the same.

Does anyone have a pin-out for this setup? And which 14 pin connector is the right one?

One interesting difference - there is no rubber grommet to get the wires through in my car, there is just a good sized hole between the hard plastic header trim piece and the windshield.

I will also say, removing the mirror on these cars is enough to give one heart palpitations. BMW couldn't just use a simple wedge and screw mount like everyone else, could they...

Also, everything I have read says that the mirrors are all interchangable, but the Homelink mirror mount is different than the old one. The only one has a plastic shoe holding three spring bars that engage the mirror mount. The new one is just metal with some nubs sticking out and spring hooks. It looks like they mount the same, but is there supposed to be a plastic bit over those nubs?