A Tell-All

[SakhirM4]

Originally Posted by jgoens

I did a similar thing just last year--was putting a lawnmower blade back on. Had the mower sideways and was cranking on the bolt with a breaker bar and was putting all my force and quite a bit of weight into it figuring it needed to be really torqued on (don't want a blade flying off).

And there it went...socket slipped off and I took a face shot on the wheel of the mower. Nice cut on the lip in two places. Told everybody I got jumped by five guys and they said that's all that happened? A bunch of people believed it.

Did you say that they should have seen how beat up the 5 guys were when you were done?

[Lups]

Hey Seattle and joegens, if we three ever need to fix something, you guys do the labor, I'll cook for you and then do the dishes and maybe they'll let's all three or us ride the same ambulance to the ER.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

That is similar to one of my dumb moves when I was about 12 years old. We had this tree in the yard that had a branch that was the perfect height for riding under on my bike and I could grab the branch and let it pull me off the bike. Then I would see how far my bike would roll before it fell over.

Of course, this became a competition with myself to make the bike go farther and farther each time. One day I was determined to set a "new world's record". I started as far back as I could; got the bike going as fast as I could; and grabbed the branch ...... except, I didn't grab the branch. I was going so fast that when I grabbed for the branch, it knocked my hands backward and I hit the ground in a totally horizontal position. Never saw how far the bike went and broke my back in the process. Needless to say, my old record still stands as there were no more attempts - ever

That's horrible. I never had a really bad injury from misadventures as I consider broken bones or massive burns the sign of serious shenanigans.

My previous misadventures on the bike involved racing my little brother from the garage, around a big oak tree in my aunt and uncles yard then stopping as close to the wall as possible without hitting it. The extra degree of difficulty was due to the garage being sanded smoothly and polished making stopping extremely, um...challenging. We take off and my brother assumes the early lead but I knew I'd get him on the brakes approaching the oak tree then power to the end. It was working perfectly until we had to stop. I hit the sanded and polished concrete and plowed straight into the sheetrock putting the bike through the wall up to the handle bars. The whole house shook and everyone came running outside to see what happened. My mom starts in on me and my dad, saying nothing, went straight to the storage room and grabbed tools/materials, hands them to me and goes inside without ever uttering a word.

It was one of the best races of my life!!

[Sea-Tac]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Lups this is classic!

My addition is this:

As a young kid I wanted to be a motocross rider. As such I got my bike and jumped everything I could find by building mounds and ramps in the back yard. The ramp of discussion today was build up from a 2x6 but I still wasn't getting the kind of air I wanted and continued to increase the angle. I finally increased it enough using the cinder blocks on hand but ended up with about 18 inches of overhang.

In order to get the best possible run I placed it at the end of our 40 yard driveway and head to the very end to begin my first run. I take off build my speed up and hit the ramp. For the first millisecond I'm on a high as I think the perfect jump is about to take place. The next thing I remember is waking up on the ground about 10-15 yards from the jump point.

From my brother: After you took off, the ramp flipped over because of the angle and hit you in the back of the head knocking you out, mid-air. You landed out of control, veered to the left and hit the gum tree and finally ground to a halt.

I had a massive hematoma on my forehead and one on the back of my head as well as massive bruises, scrapes, and a couple of light lacerations.

It was at this moment I discovered my true love of cars.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

Did you say that they should have seen how beat up the 5 guys were when you were done?

" Mom, ask him! Please! I'll do the dishes for a month!"

Dear Shakira, do you have a picture of the X-ray about your injury. I know that's a weird thing to ask, but if you do, and you send it to me, you'll become a murial.

[SakhirM4]

Originally Posted by Lups

" Mom, ask him! Please! I'll do the dishes for a month!"

Dear Shakira, do you have a picture of the X-ray about your injury. I know that's a weird thing to ask, but if you do, and you send it to me, you'll become a murial.

Nope, no x-ray. I don't even have an X-ray from when I broke my tailbone after ejecting from the F-4.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

Nope, no x-ray. I don't even have an X-ray from when I broke my tailbone after ejecting from the F-4.

Yeah, but that was the trip where you beat a tiger with a shark or something!

I'll try to find the time to translate the stories I told about you all autumn. Your live has been incredible, but I might have taken some, mild liberties while writing bed time stories for L.

[Turkish Pickle]

Not my story but of my dad - if you are used to driving sedans for the last 20+ years, but SUVs are the "in" thing, if your car is in the shop the dealer gives you a SUV loaner for taking in your car for maintenance.

One thing you probably don't account for is the change of height in the boot. In a sedan you don't need to calculate if it's going to hit or miss your head. In a SUV you should. My dad didn't.

Now we discovered this story after a few troublesome minutes. Someone's ringing the bell like someone got shot. Me and my mom go downstairs to see my dad holding his hand on his forehead with a decent amount of blood gushing out. I panic, mom loses her shit. They jump in the car to drive him to the hospital and an hour or so later my mom calls me and says "hey your dumbass father is fine, we'll be back soon" while trying to not laugh because he told her what happened.

[1MOREMOD]

,

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

Nope, no x-ray. I don't even have an X-ray from when I broke my tailbone after ejecting from the F-4.

In case anyone missed it, this is how you say badass.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

In case anyone missed it, this is how you say badass.

Plus 1 million

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Plus 1 million

The ass is bad with that one, indeed. I get informed daily Shakira is the coolest man ever by my kid who decided to become a pilot thanks to him.

[UncleWede]

UCSB. Dorms overlooking the ocean, second story so I could stand on my desk and get a surf report.

Epic south swell during the WINTER! Point is breaking all the way to the stairs that go down the cliff.

Suit up, grab the stick, head down with my buddy. We get to the bottom, see the surge hitting the cliffs behind us. I decide this water must be at least head deep, possibly more. Toss board and jump into water, which just so happens to only be less than knee deep.

My "buddy" proceeds to dive onto his board and paddle away. I manage to let the cold water numb me a bit, but I just can't walk this one off. Up 2 flights of stairs to get to the top of the cliff, cross the street, up another flight of stairs, and then into the shower. There is no WAY I am letting anyone cut the wetsuit off, so I peel all but that last ankle. Finally, decide to make the pull and I can feel something that shouldn't move, do just that.

Turns out I broke the fibula just above the ankle. My "buddy" returns to find me in my bed, leg up, cast.

Now, they have a bus service to get you to your classes if you are hurt. BUT, you have to come to the office first to prove you need the service. I hobble across campus, about as far as possible, newly on crutches. Somewhere along the way I go hypoglycemic and almost end up back in the hospital. They gave me a ride back to my dorm after confirming the cast...

The DAY they cut the cast, I'm back in the water. I had pictures of that epic winter, because I couldn't leave the beach

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by Lups

I woke up this morning feeling like I might have done a few things wrong last night.

I got home late, I was tired as hell. All I wanted was to fall in to the bed naked, and sleep it all off.

I had a dress on, with a zipper I just couldn't find, or open, so I, in my genius state decided just to pop off the bra since it was a front opening one, and then to slip it out, sleep in the stupid dress and be all rosy in the morning.

So I tried it, but the weirdo back of the dress got tangled to the confusing back of the bra, and since I'm the most patient person in the world, I decided using raw force was the way to go.

I don't know anyone besides me, who has ended up with a black eye due to a stripping attempt, but that's what I did. I pulled the damn bra breaking the dress and hit my eye with the wiring.

Then, of course I got more violent and decided to disarm my opponent, and I got a real fucking 5mm stab wound in my arm because apparently bras are indestructible.

Since I learned from my previous mistakes, I thought it would be a good idea, and I got my cooking knife out, I wanted to kill the dress, and the stupid tit holder.

I was the DD last night, so I did that all while completely sober, but in the morning I got weird looks from the spouse.

" You got in to a fight?"

" No"

" You want to explain your dress and your eye and that bandage?"

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."


I truly hope one member here has endured a situation of Yes I'm Stupid, like I have all day. I can't even lie and tell anyone who asks something, I just confess since this whole thing was so damn stupid, it was all on me but I rather lose all my cool points here than tell my husband how incompetent as a person I am.

So, anyone? You've been stupid?

Originally Posted by Lups

I woke up this morning feeling like I might have done a few things wrong last night.

I got home late, I was tired as hell. All I wanted was to fall in to the bed naked, and sleep it all off.

I had a dress on, with a zipper I just couldn't find, or open, so I, in my genius state decided just to pop off the bra since it was a front opening one, and then to slip it out, sleep in the stupid dress and be all rosy in the morning.

So I tried it, but the weirdo back of the dress got tangled to the confusing back of the bra, and since I'm the most patient person in the world, I decided using raw force was the way to go.

I don't know anyone besides me, who has ended up with a black eye due to a stripping attempt, but that's what I did. I pulled the damn bra breaking the dress and hit my eye with the wiring.

Then, of course I got more violent and decided to disarm my opponent, and I got a real fucking 5mm stab wound in my arm because apparently bras are indestructible.

Since I learned from my previous mistakes, I thought it would be a good idea, and I got my cooking knife out, I wanted to kill the dress, and the stupid tit holder.

I was the DD last night, so I did that all while completely sober, but in the morning I got weird looks from the spouse.

" You got in to a fight?"

" No"

" You want to explain your dress and your eye and that bandage?"

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."


I truly hope one member here has endured a situation of Yes I'm Stupid, like I have all day. I can't even lie and tell anyone who asks something, I just confess since this whole thing was so damn stupid, it was all on me but I rather lose all my cool points here than tell my husband how incompetent as a person I am.

So, anyone? You've been stupid?

I have not had a bra beat me yet!

[Captain Blood]

I was a senior in high school, and had a Little turbo charged hot rod. Decided to race a little bit before picking up my date. Ended up melting my transmission. Missed prom. Against an AMC hot rod. Yes, an AMC hornet. I was faster though. But the clutch was glowing in the dark. And I was stranded in the middle of nowhere

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

I was a senior in high school, and had a Little turbo charged hot rod. Decided to race a little bit before picking up my date. Ended up melting my transmission. Missed prom. Against an AMC hot rod. Yes, an AMC hornet. I was faster though. But the clutch was glowing in the dark. And I was stranded in the middle of nowhere

The only thing I see here is that you won.